This morning, I got an extra large iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts and took a long, long, long walk around Hoboken.
By the time I got back to my apartment building, I REALLY HAD TO PEE!
I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, but then my 80 year old landlady, Marie, caught me when she came out of her apartment to greet me. “Adam, please come inside! I need to show you something.”
"Ah, ah, ah."
She grabbed me by the elbow, “Come on in!”
I didn’t know what to do. I had to pee so bad, I mentally couldn’t think of a way to respectfully explain my situation to Marie.
She led me into her kitchen. She had a pot full of gravy with multiple things in it.
She explained the ingredients in the meal: meatballs, gravy and … fish wrapped around a meatball secured by a toothpick.
That last thing was something VERY NEW FROM MARIE!
"It looks delicious," I said, but even though I found this new addition intriguing, I still had to pee. I was now afraid of passing out/pissing in my pants.
Finally, she picked up on it, “What’s wrong?”
Again, I didn’t know how to say it in a respectful way. “Nothin’ Marie.”
She wasn’t buying what I was selling and got very concerned.
"Come on, what’s the problem?"
"Ok Marie, I took a long walk and drank a lot of iced coffee."
She laughed and yelled at me, “You better go potty, pronto!”
Without hesitation, I ran upstairs, right to my bathroom, and relieved myself.
Then I went back down to Marie’s.
"Oh, you look much better now," she said.
We laughed and she went back to explaining the ingredients, taking pride in adding fish to her recipe resume.
I listened with great attentiveness, then I grabbed the CorningWare full of goodies. “Thanks Marie.”
"Don’t drink too much coffee when you walk. Avoid potential accidents."
"Ha, you’re right!"
More great advice from Marie.